Best Friend
10th Grade,
As I sat there in English class, I started at the girl next to me. She was so called ‘Best Friend’. I started at her long, silky hair, & wished she was mine.
But she didn’t notice me like that & I know it. After class, she walked up to me & asked me for the notes; she had missed the day before. I handed them to her she said ‘Thanks’ & gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friend, I love her but I’m just too shy, & I don’t know why.
11th Grade,
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her, she was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broken her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn’t want to be alone, so I did as I sat next to her on the sofa; I started at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one drew Barry more movie, & three bags of chips, she decided to go home. She looked at me, said ‘Thanks’ & gave me a kiss on the cheeks.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friend, I love her but I’m just too shy, & I don’t know why.
Senior College,
One fine day she walked to my locker ‘My date is sick’, she said “he’s not gonna go”. Well I don’t have a date, & in 7th Grade we made a promise that it neither of us had dated. We should go together just as ‘Best Friend’. So we did. That night. After everything was over. I was standing at her front door step. I started at her as she smiled at me & started at me with her crystal eyes, than she said, I had the best time, ‘Thanks’! & Gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, & don’t know why.
A day passed, then a week then a month. Before I could blink it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine. But she didn’t notice me like that & I knew it.
Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock & hat, & cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, “You are my Best friend”, ‘Thanks’! & Gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friend, I love her but I am just too shy, I don’t know why.
How I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now to drive off to her new life married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t see me like that, & I knew it. But before she drove a way she came to me & said, “You came”! She said ‘Thanks’ & kissed me on the cheek.
I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friend, I love her but I’m just too shy, & don’t know why.
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my ‘Best Friend’. At the service they read a diary entry she had written in her high school years.
This is what it Read:-
I stare at him wishing he was mine; but he doesn’t notice me like that, & I know it, I want to tell him. I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I’m just too shy, & I don’t know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me! I wish did too.
“ I thought to Myself & Cried “
Your Father, Why Bother
How daughters can strengthen relationships with their fathers
Even though you and your father love one another and get along well most of the time, do you usually talk more openly about personal things and spend more time alone with your mother? And if you have a daughter, do you and she spend more time together and talk about more personal things than she and her father do? If you're like most women in our country, your answer is yes.
So what? Your father, why bother? As a daughter why bother creating a more personal or more involved relationship with your father -- especially if you are already a married woman or a mother? And if you are a mother, why bother teaching your daughter how to create a more meaningful, more communicative relationship with her dad? Even as a member or the leader of a church, why bother helping daughters and fathers create more meaningful relationships?
Because - regardless of their age, daughters who have meaningful, comfortable relationships with their fathers are generally more self-confident and independent, have better relationships with men, are less depressed, have fewer eating disorders and drug or alcohol problems and achieve more in school and at work. And the easier it is for a daughter to communicate with her father, the more she enjoys being with him and the more she gets out of their relationship.
So how do we help ourselves and our daughters embrace father-daughter relationships more fully?
Step One: Stop discriminating against your father
When I ask daughters why they don't know their fathers as well as they know their mothers or why they don't share as much with their fathers most say: "Because he's man, he doesn't want to talk about serious or personal things with me."
"Because fathers and daughters aren't supposed to know each other or be open the way mothers and daughters are." Sound familiar? If so, use this quiz to see whether you are denying your father the opportunities to create a more meaningful relationship with you.
Use 0 for "never," 1 for "rarely," 2 for "usually" and 3 for "almost always."
•___ I spend as much time alone with my father as I spend alone with my mother.
•___ I talk directly to my dad instead of going through other people to communicate with him.
•___ I go to my father for advice and for comfort about personal things.
•___ I ask my father as many meaningful questions about his life, his feelings and his ideas as I ask my mother.
•___ I share important parts of my life as much with my father as with my mother.
•___ I make as much effort to get to know my father as I do with my mother.
•___ I encourage my father to ask me questions about my life rather than acting as if he is prying or interfering when he does ask.
•___ I am as open and honest with my dad as I am with my mom.
•___ I invite my father to do things alone with me so that we have time to talk privately.
•___ I show my father that I appreciate his skills as a parent, especially when he does things differently than my mother does them.
•___ I let my father know that he has had and still does have as much impact on my life as my mother does.
•___ Your score (30 possible)
The higher your score, the easier you have made it for your father to develop a meaningful, loving, comfortable, fulfilling relationship with you -- and the less you have discriminated against him. The lower your score, the more you will benefit by starting to do the things listed in the quiz.
Step Two: Spend More Time Alone with Dad
The single most important thing you can do to strengthen your relationship is to spend more time alone with your dad and to use this time alone to ask him more meaningful questions. This sounds simple enough. Daughters repeatedly tell me about the remarkable changes that come over their fathers when they talk to him without anyone else around. If this idea makes you uncomfortable, try easing into it by inviting your father to do these sorts of things with you: (1) Show you how to do something that he enjoys or does well--something as simple as trimming plants, grilling steaks his special way, or playing a card game. (2) Go to a religious service alone with you. (3) Tag along with him for a few hours while he does errands. (4) Go to a movie together -share a box of popcorn. (5) Take you back to the neighborhood where he grew up and walk around together. (6) Ask him to choose 15 or 20 of his favorite photographs from various times of his life and as he's telling you about them, say things to relax and open him up, such as: "Tell me more about that. What was that like? Why did that happen? How did that make you feel at the time? What else was going on in your life at that time? What happened next? How do you feel about that now?" Remember: nobody else should be around while you're doing this.
Step Three: Ask Your "Lion" More Meaningful Questions
There's a fable about a little girl who asks, "How can Tarzan have been so smart, so strong, and so magnificent that without help from anyone at all he defeated every one of the jungle animals, including the mighty lions." The listener replied, "Child, you'll get a different story if the lion learns to talk." In the same way, you need to learn to speak directly to your father to get his feelings and his views of things.
Especially since half of our fathers die before we reach the age of fifty, it is time to start asking your "lion" more personal questions like these: (1)Who was your favorite relative and why? (2) What are some of your favorite childhood memories? (3) What did you get too little of and too much of from your father? (4) Other than relatives, who had the greatest influence on you as a child and as a teenager? (5) If you had a motto, what would it be? (6) What would bring you the greatest joy during the next few years? (7) What is the best and the worst advice a friend ever gave you? (8) How have your spiritual beliefs changed over time and who has influenced you the most? (9) If you could have any two spiritual questions answered, what would they be? (10)What are three of the best and three of the worst decisions you've ever made? (11) What are some lessons you had to learn the hard way? (12) What are some of the most important things you've learned about love and marriage? (13) How did your relationship with your dad influence the kind of parent you have been? (14) What was the best gift and best compliment I ever gave you? (15) How has our relationship changed over the years?
By embracing your relationship with your father more fully - and by helping your daughter do the same - you embrace the best in your self.
પિતા અને પુત્રી વચ્ચેના વાત્સલ્યનો પવિત્ર સંબંધ .
એક માતા અને એની દીકરી વચ્ચે સખીપણું અને તાદાત્મ્ય હોય એ સ્વાભાવિક ગણાય છે.આજની મારી પોસ્ટનો વિષય છે ,મા-દીકરીના નહીં પણ એક દીકરી અને એના પિતા વચ્ચેના ઊંડા પણ અદીઠ પ્રેમનો મહિમા રજુ કરવાનો.
કોઇપણ સ્ત્રી એના જીવન દરમ્યાન પુત્રી રૂપે,બહેન રૂપે ,પત્ની રૂપે કે માના રૂપે સંસારમાં છવાએલી રહેતી હોય છે.સ્ત્રી મા બને એટલે કોઈની દીકરી મટી જતી નથી.મા-બાપને મન દીકરી સદાય દીકરી જ રહેતી હોય છે.પિયરમાં ઘણા વર્ષો ગાળીને ,એક દીકરી પોતાનાં મા-બાપ,ભાઈ-બહેન ,સાહેલીયો અન્ય કુટુંબીજનોને મુકીને સાસરે આવીને કદી જાણ્યા ન હોય એવાં પારકાંને પોતાનાં કરીને નવું ઘર વસાવે છે એ એના માટે જેવો તેવો ત્યાગ ન કહેવાય.એક પરિણીત સ્ત્રી પતિ અને પિતા નામના બે કિનારા વચ્ચે વહેતી નિર્મળ નદી જેવી હોય છે.
લગ્ન કરીને સાસરીયે સંચરતી દીકરી વિદાય વખતે રડતી આંખે પિતાને જ્યારે કહેતી હોય કે કે પપ્પા તમારું ધ્યાન રાખજો ,તમારી દવાઓ લેવાનું ભૂલતા નહીં,ત્યારે કઠણ કાળજાનો અને કડક સ્વભાવનો બાપ પણ દીકરીને ભેટીને ચોધાર આંસુએ રડી પડે છે.એ વખતે પિતાને ઊંડે ઊંડે આશંકા રહેતી હોય છે કે ખુબ જ લાડ કોડમાં ઉછરેલી મારી કાળજાની કોર જેવી દીકરી સાસરિયે દુખી તો નહીં થાય ને ?કવિ કાલીદાસના અભિજ્ઞાન શાકુંતલમાં પુત્રી શકુંતલાને વિદાય કરતાં કણ્વ ઋષિ જેવા ત્યાગી પણ દુખી હૃદયે કહે છે :”સંસાર છોડીને સંન્યાસી બનેલા અમારા જેવા વનવાસીને પુત્રી વિદાયનું આટલું દુખ થતું હોય તો સંસારીઓને કેટલી થતું હશે !”
એક દીકરી અને પિતા વચ્ચે કોઇપણ બદલાની આશા સિવાયનો નિસ્વાર્થ પ્રેમ હોય છે.દીકરી પિતાના સ્વાસ્થ્ય અને સુખની ચિંતા કરતી હોય છે તો પિતા પણ દીકરી દુખી હોય તો એના માટે જીવ બાળતો હોય છે.દીકરી રડતી આંખે પિયરમાં પિતાને ત્યાં આવે ત્યારે પીતાનું હૃદય ઊંડો આંચકો અનુભવે છે.પિતા-પુત્રી એક બીજાના સુખ-દુઃખના સમાચાર દુર રહીને પણ પૂછતાં રહે છે.દીકરી થોડા દિવસ પિયરમાં રહેવા માટે આવે ત્યારે માને તો આનંદ થાય એ સમજી શકાય પરંતુ પિતાને આવેલ દીકરીમાં ભૂતકાળમાં પોતાના હાથમાં રમાડેલ નાની બાળકીનાં જાણે કે દર્શન થતાં હોય છે ! કોઈ પણ વૃદ્ધ સ્ત્રીને ફલાણા ભાઈની દીકરી છે એમ કહીને કોઈ જ્યારે ઓળખ કરાવે ત્યારે એ વૃધ્ધા પણ જાણે કે ઉમરમાં જુવાન થઇ ગઈ હોય એમ રાજી રાજી થઇ જાય છે. દીકરી એ વૃદ્ધ પિતા માટે વાતનો વિસામો છે.
એક પિતા અને વ્હાલના દરિયા જેવી દીકરી વચ્ચેના આવા પવિત્ર પ્રેમ સંબંધ અંગે વધુ વાંચવા માટે એક અજ્ઞાત લેખકનો સુંદર લેખ નીચે ક્લિક કરીને વાંચો.
દીકરી એટલે દાંપત્યનો દીવડો અને વ્હાલનો દરિયો
જીવનના સાત પગલા…
(૧) જન્મ….
એક અણમોલ સોગાદ છે,
જે ભગવાનની ભેટ છે…..
(૨) બચપણ
મમતાનો દરિયો છે જે પ્રેમથી ભર્યો છે,
જે ડુબી શક્યો તે તરી ગયો છે….
(૩) ત રુણાવસ્થા
કંઇ વિચારો, કંઇ આશાઓનો પહાડ છે.
મેળવવાની અનહદ આશા અને લુટવાની તમન્નાછે.
તરુણાવસ્થા એટલે તરવરાટ, થનગનાટ…
અને અનેક નવી મૂંઝવણો….
(૪) યુવાવસ્થા
બંધ આંખોનું એ આંધળુ સાહસ છે…
તેમા જોશ છે, ઝનુન છે, ફના થવાની ઉમ્મીદો ..
અને કુરબાન થવાની આશા છે.
(૫) પ્રૌઢાવસ્થા
ખુદને માટે કશુ ન વિચારતા…
બીજા માટે કરી છુટવાની ખુશી છે.
કુટુંબ માટે કંઇ કરી છુટવાની જીજીવિશા છે.
(૬) ઘડપણ
વિતેલા જીવનના સરવાળા બાદબાકી છે,
જેવું વાવ્યું તેવું લણવાનો સમય છે…
(૭) મરણ
જીદગીની કિતાબના પાના ખુલ્લા થશે…
નાડીએ નાડીએ કર્મ તૂટશે..
પાપ-પૂણ્યનો મર્મ ખુલશે…
ધર્મ-કર્મનો હિસાબ થશે…
સ્વર્ગ-નરકનો માર્ગ થશે….
પોતાનાનો પ્યાર છુટશે………
અને… સાત પગલા પુરા થશે…..
માટે..
સાત પગલાની..
પાણી પહેલા પાળ બાંધો….
(૧) જીદગીને કોઇપણ જાતની શરત વગર પ્રેમકરો.
(૨) તમે નહી ખર્ચેલા નાણાના તમે ચોકીદાર છો,
માલીક નથી!
(૩) દુનિયામા દરેક માણસ એમજ સમજે છે કે…
તે .. પોતે જ… ચાલાક છે…!
પરંતુ જ્યારે કુદરતનો તમાચો પડે છે
ત્યારે માંની છઠ્ઠીનું ધાવણ યાદ આવી જાય છે!
માટે તમારી હોશીયારી તમારી પાસે જ રાખો!
(૪) જો તમને… પહેરવા કપડા, રહેવા ઘર અને..
બે ટાઇમ અન્ન મળતું હોય તો…
ઉપરવાળાનો આભાર માનજો..
તમારાથી બીજા કેટલા સુખી છે..
તે જોવા કરતા બીજા કેટલા દુઃખી છે..
તે જોશો તો… તમારે માટે સ્વર્ગ અહીં જ છે!
(૫) તમે પૈસાદાર હો કે ગરીબ..
બધા અંતે મ્રુત્યુને જ વરે છે!
મુખ્ય વાત તો એ જ છે કે..
તમારી ખોટ કેટલાને પડી?
તમારી યાદમા કેટલી આંખો ભીની થઇ!
